Yes, I Can Take a Hint

And I'm an obedient Lucasite.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love your blog Jennifer? You are teh funneh.

I think you should switch off of Blogspot, get your own domain, and use Wordpress. It will enhance your quality of life. I'll even help you do it because I have mastered Wordpress.
-Rachel Lucas

Today, I bought the domain InJennifersHead.com. I will be moving soon. I will also be following the advice to switch over to WordPress. Blogger has taken good care of me, but I really need some more flexibility. I've got a little setup to do, but I will keep you posted.

Now, you can never accuse me of ignoring my loyal comment writing fans. Besides that, Rachel is way more popular than I and so I should be listening to her advice.

Real Life Superhero

A Royal Marine threw himself onto a grenade to save the lives of his team, and amazingly lived to tell the story. His rucksack, body armor, and balls of freaking steel absorbed the blast. He walked away with a bloodied nose. Take that Taliban bastards.

I have two words to describe this guy: Bad Ass. He deserves a medal, a parade, and a throng of servants scattering rose petals in his path. He should be preceded by bag pipes everywhere he goes.

British men are now living in fear of the day this guy comes home. Women will be able to smell the fact that he got the entire testosterone ration of England. The multi-colored flags being waved by the parade spectators? Yeah, it will actually be panties.

Just One More Reason Not to Eat There

Hubby and I decided that it had been far too long since we had last been to theater. No, not the classy kind. I mean the one the sells popcorn and has sticky floors. We decided to see a stupid movie because it sounded like fun. So we went to see Superhero Movie. Hilarious! If you go to see it, sit through the credits. You will get to see the extended version of that song. You'll know the one I'm talking about. When enough people have seen it that it has been posted on You Tube, I'll post it here. There are so many that deserve to have it played for them.

Because we aren't cool anymore, we were leaving the mall at around 9pm. After that, it's just emo city anyway. As we were walking out of our theater, we noticed a heavily armed sheriff walking through and checking each theater. This struck us as odd, but we just went about our business. We then discovered that they were lowering the cage doors as we walked out past the ticket booths. This barrier is even more intimidating than the impenetrable velvet rope. Hmm, even more interesting. More heavily armed sheriffs in the food court as well as Royal Canadian Mounties mall security. (If you had ever seen Quail Springs Mall security, you would know what a difficult distinction this is.)

Since we are still unarmed in public (CCW test is April 5th), we headed out to the car. They probably weren't looking for civilian backup anyway. Although we had a very lively 'what if' discussion on the way home. A friend came over to the house and the incident wasn't mentioned again. She brought wine and we talked until 2 in the morning like crazy people.

In scanning the news for possible material, I ran across this. Texas Roadhouse is right across the street from the mall. I'm assuming they were looking for the shooter because I'm sure seeing a stupid movie and eating popcorn is exactly what one would want to do after opening fire in a restaurant parking lot.

I'm thinking that they were looking in the wrong place. I've eaten at the Texas Roadhouse in question. The last time I was there, they had a hostess with a real attitude problem. My friends had arrived before we did and put their names on the list for seating. Apparently there is a high demand for peanuts and over-cooked meat on Friday nights. I approached the hostess station to let them know that the rest of that party had arrived and to inquire about the wait time. In the most condescending tone imaginable, she informed me that when the name was added to the list there was a 20 minute wait and that it had only been 15 minutes since then. I apologized for my lack of omnipotence and waited another 20 minutes for our table. Our sweet as candy waitress (really, I hope she has a better job now) took excellent care of us and all but begged me to make a report to the manager about the hostess. It seems that she is very popular among the help. I obliged. This isn't really the reason I don't eat there anymore, it was just the proverbial straw. Apparently the cook there is permanently set on well-done. I don't like burnt beef. I want it rare to medium rare. I order it that way, but the cook's settings cannot be over-ridden.

So here's what I think happened. Dude deals with PMS bitch to get his table. He picks out a beautiful cut of steak and orders it bloody as hell. While he is waiting for said steak to sit on the grill long enough for the cook's presets, he requests a cocktail. When he finishes his whiskey-infused water masquerading as scotch-on-the-rocks, his serving of boot leather with a side of mashed salt arrives. He pays his tab and leaves. He sees a friend in the parking lot who suggests that they go back into the restaurant for drinks and dessert. At that point, he snaps and opens fire.

Ok, not really, but it makes for a good story. It's unacceptable use of a firearm and will only be used as ammunition (pun intended) by the gun control freaks. Even though no one tries to infringe on anyone else's freedom of speech because some wacko said something inflammatory. No one tries to stop people from being able to travel this great nation just because someone used their vehicle in an unacceptable manor and killed an innocent bystander. But the right to bear arms is the unpopular part of the constitution; no one protests the infringements there.

Correcting Obama Quotes

"Had the reverend not retired, and had he not acknowledged that what he had said had deeply offended people and were inappropriate and mischaracterized what I believe is the greatness of this country, for all its flaws, then I wouldn't have felt comfortable staying at the church," Obama said Thursday during a taping of the ABC talk show

via
I think what he meant to say here was, "Had I not been running for 'Commander of Chief,' I would never have spoken out against this racist." I could be wrong, but I doubt it. The Obamessiah will do anything for your vote. He's a self-proclaimed half breed so he can throw blacks or whites under the bus (just as long as he doesn't have to sit in the back) just to get the vote. He's the one-size-fits-all candidate. Got white guilt? He's your man. Want to be progressive and prove you aren't racist? Vote for Hope and Change!

"It is time for the federal government to revamp the regulatory framework dealing with our financial markets," the Illinois senator said in a wide-ranging speech on the economy.

via
This should have been, "It is time for the government to spoon feed you and bail you out because Big Brother knows best. Only people that have been struggling like Michelle and I can really understand what it's like. As a politician, I promise to do everything in my power to make sure no American, citizen or otherwise, has to actually face the consequences of their own decisions. I know that the more people on the state's handout list, the more people vote Democrat. It's easier than getting a job afterall."

"If we can extend a hand to banks on Wall Street when they get into trouble, we can extend a hand to Americans who are struggling through no fault of their own," he said to applause.

still via
Adding, "And by 'no fault,' I mean too stupid or irresponsible to survive in a capitalist society. We need to lift up the lowest common denominator because they vote liberal."

He really is so eloquent. But seriously, where is the money supposed to come from? That's the part he always leaves out. It's tax money, plain and simple. And don't buy into the Democrats favorite campaign line of taxing the rich and the corporations. The rich can afford fast fingered accountants that can find more tax breaks and loopholes than your kid just found Easter eggs. Corporations will just pass the cost onto consumers.

-But Jennifer, what does it all mean?

Don't worry dears, I'm going to tell you. It means that the actual financial burden rests on the regular working class. Yep, I'm betting that means most of you. (All 42.9 that read daily on average and never comment. I love the lurkers too, I swear. De-lurk, it's safe here.)

All the wonderful socialist programs being offered cost money. Free health care isn't free. The money for a mortgage bailout comes out of your pocket. Ice cream for all is doled out by someone on the state's payroll. And frankly, it pisses me off. We bought a little house because it was what we could afford. One of the reasons I work full time is because my employer offers health insurance. These are decisions that adults must make. These are the values we should be instilling our children. As I have said before, handouts will not fix the economy. Must we really go over this again?

Breaking News! Occasionally, Hillary is Human!

According to Top News, Hillary Clinton admitted that:

Occasionally, I am a human being like everybody else.

The jury is still out about what she is the rest of the time.  But apparently, it is not human. 

Possibly alien?  It would certainly explain her desire to extend citizenship to those that are here illegally.

Maybe she's a robot.  Generations of science fiction authors have predicted that they would take over one day.  She's entitled.  This would explain her position on Universal Health Care.  She would only have to worry about seeing a state employed medical professional on the rare occasion that she is human.  Hmm, the alien thing works with that too.  You know, depending on how she defines "Universal" and "is."

I know! Samantha Power was right!  Hillary really is a monster. A key foreign policy aide to the Obamessiah would certainly know.  No wonder Bill was seeking comfort elsewhere.  Who knows what monstrous things lurk beneath those pantsuits!

No 'Colored' Person I Know Would Want This Kind Of Advancement

*Warning: This subject matter pisses me off and thus, the entry will contain foul language*

Still with me?

Al Sharpton is an asshole and a poor excuse for a human being. Let me fill you in on what he's doing currently. You may or may not have heard of the Dunbar Village rape case. If not, I'm going to give you the gruesome highlights.

10 men broke into the home shared by a Haitian immigrant and her son. For three hours these bastards gang raped her while beating her 12-year-old son in the next room. As if that wasn't enough, they then forced this woman, at gunpoint, to perform oral sex on her son. After this atrocity was finished, they put mother and son in the bathtub and covered them with household cleaners. The boy was blinded with nail polish remover. They attempted to light them on fire, but were unable to find a match. The neighbors tuned out the cries for help.

Hours later, in the dark of night, they walked to a hospital.

Four of the rapists have been arrested. Six are still at large. You would think that the "Reverend" (ha) Al Sharpton and the NAACP would be doing everything in their power to make sure justice was served in the life of this colored woman. But no. The scum that performed this act were black. Sharpton and his minions are defending them.

Personally, I don't give a damn about how hard it is to grow up black. There is absolutely no possible excuse for this inhuman act. Those that perpetrated it are lower than animals and should be treated as such.

Sharpton thinks they are being treated unfairly because 5 white boys that gang raped 2 girls were let out on bond to await their trial. He says that blacks and whites should be treated the same for the same crime. In that, I would agree. But this is not the same crime. What the white boys did was certainly not right, but it's not even in the same league. The white boys got drunk with a couple of girls and gang raped them. That's bad. But they didn't do it for 3 hours, force then to perform oral sex on their child, and then attempt to burn them alive. Honestly, I don't think they should have been let out on bond either, but they are probably less of a threat to society as a whole than the shit Sharpton is defending. And these white boys are going to trial. They weren't let off the hook.

Hmm, what could possibly be worse than gang rape? Oh right, the black boys did that and then some. I didn't know I had any more respect to lose for Al Sharpton, but apparently I was wrong. I really wish the Haitian woman had been armed. Then maybe the news would be talking about removing their brains from the walls of her home. The police could instead be informing the families that these sorry excuses for humans were no longer wasting the air. The world would be a better place.

It does nothing for the 'advancement of colored people' to support trash like this. Depravity of this kind knows no color. It is wrong, plain and simple. They are sociopathic fuck-heads that should be put so far away that air must be pumped to them. They are going to be tried as adults. Better than they deserve, in my opinion, but Sharpton complains about that as well.

Does the term 'colored people' not include women? What about this woman? Does she not deserve justice? Does she not deserve the army of attorneys at Sharpton's disposal?

These boys are monsters. They are a threat to society. Dr. King dreamed of a day when all people would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. The color of their skin means nothing, the content of their characters has already spoken volumes. Is this not what the NAACP should be striving towards? This judgment is merciful in regards to their actions.

Please read Dr. Renita Weems's call to action. I'm not eligible to join the NAACP and wouldn't if I could, but those who are should speak out.

Via: The Curvature

Happy Easter!

I have already broken the rule about talking about politics in polite company. Now I'm going to talk about religion as well. Either I'm some kind of uncouth individual bereft of social graces, or my readers aren't polite company. I'll let you decide.

Growing up, I thought Easter just meant chocolate and a weird bunny. I got a new dress to wear to church, and often a frilly hat as well. I had no idea why. They didn't ever talk about it in my childhood church either. I grew up in one of those churches that doesn't celebrate days like Easter or Christmas as anything other than the overly commercialized secular spend-too-much money days. In spite of the fact that the word holiday specifically means Holy Day. I didn't get it until I was older.

In elementary school, I had multiple fights with friends and classmates about Jesus's birth date. I knew that the Bible did not specify and had never commanded us to celebrate it anyway. For me, Christmas was nothing more than getting family together for too much food and presents.

Every year for Easter, we would go to my cousin's grandma's house (no blood relation, but we're Okies so we're all kin) for an Easter egg hunt. Great fun! We'd compare our hauls and gorge on candy. Never once mentioning a spiritual significance to the day. It was years before I really got that there was one.

For just over a year now, my husband and I have been attending a liturgical church. I'm still getting this Holy Week thing down. I sing in the choir. Last year, I sang for my very first ever Maundy Thursday. It was the first time I realized such a day existed.

Last Sunday prior was Palm Sunday and we brought in trumpets. Seriously awesome service. We processed in led by a pipe and drum band. From now on, I would like to be preceded by bag pipes everywhere I go. Please keep that in mind if you ever choose to invite me somewhere. It was the first Palm Sunday service I had ever been to in my life.

For Easter, we did an amazing cantata where we brought in an orchestra. Did I mention that the church I grew up in was anti-instruments? Yeah. I was 28 years old before I ever sang in a church choir. And I'm a well trained first soprano. I had a full tuition and fee waiver as a vocal music major in college. Didn't finish, but that's another story.

My point here is that this is really all very new to me. I'm fascinated by the whole Holy week events. I'm blown away by Christmas productions (I was the soloist for our Christmas cantata). I think I really finally get it that it doesn't really matter whether or not Jesus was born on December 25th. It's a day that early Christians got to celebrate it without being persecuted or killed because they lined it up with a pagan festival. Their courage made modern Christianity possible. That is worth celebrating, and what better way to celebrate it than to keep up the tradition?

Easter is even more worth celebrating. This day is commemorating Jesus's triumph over death. The day that He rose from the grave. This is the cornerstone of His promise to us as His followers.

After church, we got together with family. We had a lovely dinner and then sent the children outside to hunt the eggs. But this morning, before we even left for church, I asked my nine year old son what Easter was celebrating. He said, "The day Jesus rose from the dead." I didn't know that at his age. I agree with my childhood church's philosophy that we should be celebrating that every day, but I don't think having one special day set aside for it cheapens that idea in the least. I believe in reinforces it.

You know, the vast majority of us pay taxes with each and every paycheck that we receive. We don't actually think about it because it's the same each and every time we get paid. We only think about it when it comes time to file our taxes once a year. If communion is the same each and every week, by human nature we become just as complacent. By taking the time out to focus on what it means, we are forced to realign ourselves. I know, I just compared salvation and taxes, but it works. Except, of course, that on Easter we are reminded of how much we get for so little. When we file our taxes we are reminded of how little we get for so much.

I'm rambling and should probably end this entry. I'll leave it with this: Christ's death and resurrection extends grace and salvation to us all. We are all fallen creatures in a fallen world, but because of His sacrifice, we can be saved. This isn't limited to those belonging to any specific church or denomination. I believe that only God knows a man's heart and holds the keys to salvation. I believe that He is far bigger than any human boundaries and labels that we have tried to put on Him. Jesus told a thief condemned on an adjacent cross that he would be in Heaven with him that very day. This thief was not a "good" guy. He wasn't a member of any church. He didn't jump through any legalistic hoops. He didn't deserve salvation. At least, not any more than the the rest of us do.

Random Musings

It's been a while since I've just gone way off the deep end and shared a random synapse fire with you. So I figure that it is high time. Hmm, 'high time,' what does that mean anyway? Does that mean that this exact moment is currently toking on some sort of doobie? Well considering today's random thought, that is entirely possible. For the moment to be toking, not me. I don't do that sort of thing.

And now, without further adieu, today's completely random question:

If my bologna was Catholic, how many names would it have?

Would people wish to be a related wiener?

Would that change the design of the Pope-mobile?

All things to ponder over various completely non-Kosher meals.

At Least This Politician Knows His Place

Florida State Senator Victor Crist is sponsoring groundbreaking legislation that promises to wipe out a large percentage of the crap in Florida. His far reaching bill seeks to shed light on the johns in the state. He wants to be certain that all restaurants provide enough squares to each patron utilizing their facility. For once, a politician is not only looking out for his own backside, but the backsides of all his constituency. Senator Crist is not taking the waste problem sitting down.

Or maybe he is.

You see, Senator Crist is sponsoring legislation that would mandate that all eating establishments have "enough" toilet paper in their restrooms. One must wonder how to quantify "enough." Does this measurement hinge on the type of food provided? I would assume that eating like a rabbit would produce rabbit like turds and so therefore, "enough" would be very different for a vegetarian establishment than an assplosion inducing Tex-Mex eat-porium. A colon-pounder with cheese would have different requirements than a tofurkey.

Seriously folks, haven't the politicians gone far enough? Do we really need them in our bathrooms? Sure they might be far more qualified to wipe your ass than pen legislation, but aren't we paying them to actually do something? When we asked them to clean up the shit, we didn't mean it literally.

I will admit frustration and even embarrassment at finding myself at the tail end of a roll with no relief in sight. Never once have I asked in that situation, "What the gubment gonna do?" (I never use such poor grammar in speaking to myself anyway.) Maybe that just means I really am a Conservative. I really believe that politicians have no place in my bathroom. It's kind of a private area, and I would like to keep it that way.

And so if Senator Crist would really like to make a difference, he should get his nose out of the shit and deal with the real assholes.

Signs of Spring

Even though an entire hour was recently hijacked out of my life while I slept, I am enjoying the signs of the pending spring.

Here are the daffodils blooming in my backyard. I really like to cut a few and put them in a cobalt blue vase. Maybe I'll take some to work this week.


This is the Bradford Pear blooming in the front yard. They are lovely to look at. If you aren't familiar, never never never inhale while standing under a Bradford Pear in bloom. They are quite pungent and not in a pleasant sort of way. But it still makes for a nice picture.

And this is my very favorite part of the improving weather. Open toed shoes. I really need to redo my pedicure. Hooray for springtime! I'm so ready to say good-bye to winter.

Meeting Expectations

I did that stupid thing that mothers are warning us not to do. I invited someone that I had just met on the internet to meet me in real life. Yeah, in person, face-to-face and everything. I'm half crazy. but you probably already knew that. Although, I will say that if you are going to meet a new online friend in person, the gun range is a damn fine choice in venues.

My impulsiveness paid off, and we had a really good time. I hope that I have a new friend. Thanks Rachel! And it's an open offer to come shooting with us any time you just happen to be our direction. Even if you did set the bar a little high for me.

I'm getting to be a pretty good shot with my .357. Look here then here, in that order. I practice with it a lot and have been constantly seeking the advice of the advanced instructor. His advice has been invaluable, and I think I owe him dinner. That might just be fun anyway.

But this weekend, the .357 wasn't my focus. One of the guys in my office loaned me his .40 Sig Pro to play with and take my carry and conceal test. In Oklahoma, if you take your test with a semi-automatic, then you can be approved to carry a pistol, a revolver, or a derringer. If I were to take the test with my revolver, then I would be limited to wheel guns. I want to keep my options open. The Sig is a sweet pistol. I loaded 10 rounds in my first magazine, took aim at my target which was less than ten feet away, and proceeded to only punch 2 holes in the paper. Nice. Yeah, that's promising. I didn't have any trouble with recoil. In fact, it doesn't kick as hard as what I'm used to. No, apparently, I was having trouble lining up the sights correctly. With the next magazine, I made a straight line up the center of my target and should not have any further problems, but I have to admit that I kind of felt like I needed to be issued a helmet and mittens for that one.

Overall, we had a really good time. I got to make a new friend too which is always a good thing. Oh yeah, and we bought another gun too. It's a WWII era Smith & Wesson .38 special M&P. If you've never had an opportunity to fire one of these, you are missing out. Once it's home, I'll post some pictures.

Thank You!

I am amazed and humbled by my readers. Honestly, I nearly choked on my beer when I sat down to check my statistics this evening. There were 303 hits on Friday and another 112 on Saturday. Wow! You've thrown my average, and I'm thinking that I had better get some more content up for you to enjoy. Please do let me know if there are things you would like to see. I won't promise to hit every reader suggestion, but I will read them. You can find my email in the "About Me" section on the sidebar. I also see and read each comment as it comes across.

As you may have noticed, I joined the BlogHer network. Not only do they serve nice ads that can help me offset my time spent here, but they also have a headline rotation of other members. They have requested that I ask my readers to please fill out a survey. Its completely voluntary, but it will help me and the other members to hopefully improve our content and land more ads. I promise you, if I am making money, I will write lots more. So, if you are so inclined, please click the picture to take the survey. Thanks again!

Hiring a Prostitute is bad- M'kay

I'm not going to link to the entire interwebs so that you can read yet another story on Elliot Spitzer. Here's my take because I know that you are on pins and needles waiting to find out. He's a horny bastard and is only sorry that he got caught.

I don't really give a damn whether or not his wife was putting out at home. Yeah, that's bad for a marriage. Yes, she may carry some blame for the breakdown of their relationship, but she carries absolutely no blame in the whore poking scandal. The only way you could place this on her head is if she took him by the hand and led him to the house of ill repute.

Men have urges. That does not mean that they are not responsible for the decisions that they make. I am shocked that the men of the world are not outraged with the accusation that they are no better than animals ruled by their most base instincts.

I shouldn't be surprised though. Our society has given so many handouts and encouraged the victim mentality so much that people have ceased to believe they are responsible for their own actions. Too many men have allowed rape apologists to blame the shortness of a woman's skirt rather than their own violent intentions, so why should I be surprised at the silence here? Too many women are willing to treat their bodies as an amusement park.

For the record, "Kristen" is no victim here either. She's an adult that decided to become a prostitute. She will have her 15 minutes, but she will always be remembered as Spitzer's whore. She chose that path as an adult. The things that drove her to that decision don't really change the fact that it was her decision to make.

More Shooting Stuff

For those that offered advice on this post (Instinct and Don), thank you. You guys are awesome. Actually, the previous target that I posted was the first day I got my .357 (she really needs a name) back from her maker. She was still wearing the Hogue monogrip. It's a nice grip, but doesn't fit as comfortably as the Ahrends. When I took it home to clean it, I switched them out. Here is my Saturday target.
Better? No more flinch with the other grip and a little more practice. Thank you for the advice anyway, I will absolutely keep that in mind.

Apparently, the Oklahoma legislature agrees that putting guns in the hands of law abiding citizens actually reduces crime. They are currently trying to pass a bill to allow certain college students to carry their handguns on campus. There haven't been any of the shootings on an Oklahoma college campus that I know of, but I really do believe that passing this bill will keep it that way.

The measure was approved 65-36, despite opponents who said it made no sense following shootings at schools across the country.

Ah how much I love by back-woods redneck state. The good ol' boys 'round these parts have an idear about handguns.

10 Years Today

I can hardly believe it. My husband/boyfriend/best-friend-with-benefits and I have been together for ten whole years now! (Our 10 year wedding anniversary is in December)

Committing to spending my life with my very best friend has been the best thing ever. I highly recommend it. Although, this person will have to be your special friend, mine is taken. Michael is wonderful, witty, and passionate. I'm a very lucky girl. We've been through a lot together, and it has only brought us closer.

So I'm feeling pretty good today, and I browsed on over to one of my favorite bloggers only to find that she was linking me. Thank you Rachel Lucas. I'm feeling remarkably cool and like maybe I should clean up the place since your readers will probably be visiting. If you came from there, welcome. Please make yourself comfortable.

Well it came as a shock to me

Will wonders never cease? I found a feminist that I seem to be able to have a rational discussion with.

Let me give you some background. I joined the BlogHer network recently. I'm sure some of you may have noticed the new ads showing in the sidebar. Just below the ads, there are links to headlines written by other members of BlogHer. I was very excited to see my post, A Woman's Right to Choose, in the BlogHer rotation.

Since I was looking, I decided to check out other headlines. And I found The Curvature. Although I may disagree with some of her ideas, I respect her. She disagrees with me as well. There are issues where we agree, and I may cover these in the future. Respectful debate is the only way to progress especially on delicate issues like abortion.

I am pro-life personally. I believe that once a child is conceived, he or she deserves the rights granted to any other living creature. I think abortion is a tragedy and should only be employed in the most extreme cases. I do not think criminalizing abortion is the way to get there. I am sick of the pro-lifers that will give their time to protest a clinic but not to reach out to a girl in crisis. And I believe the vast majority of women in that position are in some sort of crisis. This is not the time to ridicule them and label them with scarlet letters. I don't believe any woman sets out to have an abortion. I believe every woman that is considering one wishes that she had never gotten pregnant (or had a medical condition) in the first place. These pro-lifers have entirely too many members in common with the crowd that labels single mothers as whores. It's no wonder they consider termination as an easy way out. These girls need compassion.

Abstinence is certainly an option. I believe it is the best option for single women, but I don't have the right to force my beliefs on anyone else. God gave us free will on purpose. I can only share my beliefs and why I carry them. I also think that all forms of birth control should be readily available. (Guess I just gave away the fact that I'm not Catholic.) In my opinion, the best way to combat abortion is with education, options, and support. I would challenge any pro-lifer that is willing to give their time and money to protest a clinic, instead take in an unwed mother that was kicked out of her parent's house and help her find adoptive parents for her unborn child. Let her know that she is worth the time, energy, and love bestowed upon her. That would speak volumes beyond any words that could ever be written on a sign.

What? You mean gun ownership actually REDUCES crime?

People don't like the idea of possibly getting shot. Did you realize that this applies to criminals to a far larger degree than law abiding citizens? Criminals get really freaked out when law abiding citizens start carrying guns that they know how to use. No really, check it out. The rate of sexual assaults fell when women started carrying guns in Florida. But you don't have to take my word for it. Doot doot doot (That joke is lost on anyone not familiar with Geordi LaForge's Reading Rainbow.)

When sexual assaults started rising in Orlando, Fla., in 1986, police officers noticed women were arming themselves, so they launched a firearms safety course for them. Over the next 12 months, sexual assaults plummeted by 88 percent, burglaries fell by 25 percent and not one of the 2,500 women who took the course fired a gun in a confrontation.

And they didn't even fire a shot. Far be it from me to assume to know the motivation of another person, but I'm betting it's because these guys didn't want to get shot. Criminals are generally not the most intelligent of characters, but they know that if they attack someone that is armed then they are likely to get shot. As mentioned before, people don't really like getting shot. I mean, it doesn't seem like a real good time to me.

By the way, my .357 returned from Smith & Wesson on Friday. I went to the range.
Wanna mess with me? I didn't think so.

Incredibly Girlie Squeeeeeel Moment!

I got to do something every girl would love to do today. You know what it is? Well I did get kissed by a stud with good breeding, but that's not what I am referring to. I got to play with a newborn premature filly today. She was only 28 hours old and born 34 days early.

Every girl love horses, and the babies are so deliciously adorable. I just want to hug them all. I'm really lucky. One of my good friends and co-workers is Julie Allard of Allard's Horse Haven so when each year's foal crop is born I get to go and see them. (If you go and buy a horse from her, tell her that I sent you.) They are so insanely cute. If I could take them home and snuggle them in my tiny living room, I totally would. Unfortunately my postage stamp sized back yard isn't really big enough to take one of these precious babies home with me. But I won't live here forever.

I know you are just dying to see the new baby, so here she is!



Click on the picture for a bigger image.

The previously mentioned stud was horse. Beautiful buckskin named Two Joe. I don't have his picture, but will try and get it from Julie.

Sometimes, You find your own fun

At the risk of becoming "that girl with the bathroom photos," I bring you this treasure.
This particular scene happened in my office on Monday. This is the one and only ladies room in the office. As I am sure you can plainly see, it was out of order due to maintenance. But just in case one of the ladies didn't realize that one should not use the toilet when it is not attached to the floor, someone added this helpful sign.
Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. The ensuing laughter at the sight of sign made me nearly wet myself. The heart is my favorite part. I have to tell you, it's very difficult to take a focused picture while snickering and doing the pee-pee dance. (Did I really just say 'pee-pee dance?')
As a matter of fact, while being privately cracked up about the scene, I got busted by the note leaver. I explained that I could not resist the picture. Being an awesome girl with a fantastic sense of humor herself, she actually offered to pose in the picture. That proved rather dangerous since unmounted toilets are a long way from stable. In her defense, she posted the very helpful note before the toilet was removed from the floor. At that time, it really did look like a perfectly usable facility.
Here's my positive message for today: Find humor in mundane places. Laugh at the ludicrous. Share a strange talent. Like writing Haikus about the restroom.

End of the paper
Oh the horrors all alone
The shelf out of reach

Dripping, worrying
Linoleum barrier
Stretch without slipping

All the ladies know
They have been there once or twice
Elegance falters

Domestic Distress Call

Help! I've lost a graphic novel! Actually 2 of them, but it's 2 copies of the same thing. One is actually intended as a gift. Shh-don't tell my brother-in-law. I put them in the home office, and I have absolutely no idea how I could ever lose something in a room that looks like this:

I would swear that I put them on top of my comic book boxes. There on the left side of the picture, under our range bag (the blue back pack crammed between the boxes). Or maybe they are there between my computer towers under my desk. The one in the foreground of the picture is a Windows XP/Debian Linux dual boot HP. The one in the background is my Mac G4. (Yes, Instinct-a Mac. And I'm writing this entry on my Mac iBook in the living room) I'm a nerd, and a disorganized nerd at that. Guess I didn't really need to point that out since I already made reference to my comic book boxes. Oops, went off on a tangent there.

This room is a perfect example of what happens when domestically-challenged random creatives get married. I would love to claim that this is the exception, but I would be lying to you. There is a hair dryer, a dremel-style tool, and a four drawer file cabinet in the kitchen. I don't know why anything ever gets lost here.

My mother-in-law will be mortified, and since I just found out today that she is reading my blog, I should probably clean up the place. I'll hide the laundry and get the toilet paper out of the living room before she shows up. Maybe the shirt she gave me today should be hanging in my closet rather than from the leg of the coffee table standing in the dining room. But there is still hope! In order to work a day off of his 3 week grounding, my son cleaned the bathroom. He even cleaned the mirror. Check out his work.

I think he earned the shortened sentence. There's hope for us yet!

My husband, after asking if I was also planning to share pictures of our dirty underwear, suggested that I should make a game out of these pictures. So, here is a list of some unusual things found in these 2 pictures. The first person that can locate them all will get kudos from me, and I will tell everyone else that reads this blog how incredibly cool you are. Maybe, just maybe, if I can find something interesting to send, I will send you something random from one of these two rooms. Don't hold your breath on receiving it though. As I've pointed out before, I am the queen of procrastination and I'd hate for you to be asphyxiated. See, I really do value my readers.
1. Cat butt (extra points if you know the cat's name)
2. Bi-Plane kite
3. Leather tools
4. Saxophone playing blue M&M
5. Peace Lily
6. Wine Corks
7. Pinkish-orangish candle
8. Something made with cucumber
9. Dandruff shampoo
10. Outdated digital camera
And the bonus: Uninstalled Mac processor (no, you won't get this as a prize. You can't have the cat butt either)