Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ack Zombies!

Mindless drones wandering the city in search of brains! Hub has a fantastic article about how to be prepared for the eventuality of a zombie invasion. You can never be too careful.

Unfortunately, I find the article a little lacking. I mean, what if the zombie is in the form of an over-bleached, over-tanned trophy wife? It could happen. Just look here. That must be the explanation. She's a zombie. She keeps buying clothes and Starbucks, but what she really needs are brains. Delicious brains.

So the question here is what to do about this particular kind of zombie. Sturdy scissors are the solution. When she comes at you with her credit cards, simply slice up the worthless plastic. She'll be reduced to a shrieking pile of make-up and silicone, and you can walk away unscathed.

Don't worry about her six kids, the marker-wielding liberals will take care of them. It's all about the chiiiiillldren! Or so they say. Really they are just churning out entitlement hungry zombies. (See, I got back to the zombie point)

These are easy to conquer. Take their food stamps and give them lawn mowers or dust mops. This eliminates both the welfare zombies and the illegal-immigrant zombies in one swoop.


CastoCreations said...

*giggle* Those darn liberal wielding zombies! You should see the list of new bumper stickers I'm looking at to replace my defaced one. :)

Michael said...

Ick! I would hate a zombie infestation! I use my brain every day, and don't think I could go without it, actually. My delicious, juicy braaaaaiiiinn... Aaaaaaaggggggghhhhh!!!

Instinct said...

See, that's why you need to make sure to keep your boom stick handy and as a backup have a nice, heavy wrecking bar