Monday, February 25, 2008

Jennifer's Head Can Occasionally Swell

That's me. Fairly typical look too. I blow dried the hair creating my unruly but still fun mop, and no make-up. This would be the standard weekend look. It does still include fabulous shoes, but my bathroom mirror is not full length. Yes, my bathroom mirror is in desperate need of a good cleaning. I have never claimed to be domestic. Change out the jeans for some slacks or a skirt and you've got my usual work look. Since you had only seen me in my profile picture, I thought you should see what I look like on a normal day. The profile picture was taken almost two years ago at my best friend's wedding. As her maid of honor, I had to actually do my hair and make-up for the big event. Well actually, another friend did my hair. It has never looked like that again.
So now you are thinking, "Um, Jennifer? Are you ever going to get to the point? Do you even have a point?"
Yes actually, I'm glad you asked.
One of the guys that works at the local gun range worked with Michael several years ago. This was a couple of jobs before Michael met me. Upon reuniting, the conversation was the standard.
Old Friend: Hey Mike. Good to see you. How have you been? You've lost hair since I saw you last.
Michael: I've been good. Yeah, that figures since the last time you saw me I was about 17. I'd like you to meet my wife Jenni.
Old Friend: (shakes hand) It's nice to meet you. (turns to Michael) You've done well.

Every woman knows that "You've done well" in that situation is really man code for, "You're wife is cute (or hot or pretty--something complimentary)." We accept the polite compliment and don't think anything else about it. The part that makes it funny is what happened on a later visit. At this visit, the old friend makes it a point to pull my husband aside, and in a stage whisper to make any four year old proud says, "I think your wife is hot!" LOL! I love it.

Well not 2 weeks later, I take my department out for our monthly departmental lunch. The conversation turns to the upcoming audition coming through Oklahoma for America's Next Top Model. One of the girls says, "I think Jennifer should try out for that." No, I am not in her chain of command. She goes on to tell me that she thinks I'm so pretty and that she thinks that I could just wear anything. She proceeds to tell me that she has always said that. All the while I am trying to come with a polite response that doesn't sound like I'm full of myself or self deprecating. I went with the honest response, I actually tried the modeling thing and it just wasn't for me. I stifled the voice in my head that was laughing and screaming, "You couldn't do that! You're 5'4", almost 30, and you've got cellulite and stretch marks! I don't think that's what Prada is really looking for this season." But you know, when they finally decide that the heroin waif is not so pretty, then they can give me a call.

I'm enjoying the compliments lately. I'm sure my head will swell enough to throw me off balance at which point I will topple over into something embarrassing like kitty yak which will bond to my hair and thus negate any inflated image built.

On a side note, I did jog around the block today. I'm still short and almost 30, but the cellulite will not win! And no, I still did not clean the mirror.

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