Wednesday, December 5, 2007

9 Years Today!

Nine years ago today, I married Michael (of Michael's Soapbox). We are still blissfully in love, and each year is better than the last. We intend to remain newlyweds forever. I know, I didn't give you enough notice to purchase gifts. Don't worry, we accept PayPal :)

Funny how in this world, 9 years is quite an accomplishment. 50+ years is commonplace for my grandparent's generation. Our generation has invented things like "irreconcilable differences" and "pre-nuptial agreements." Many have changed their vows from "as long as we both shall live" to "as long as we both shall love." What a difference one little letter makes. Too often, couples go into their marriages with an escape plan.

Marriage is an institution, and I have been committed to that institution for life. It does take some work, but it gets easier with practice and it's worth it. Here are a few rules and pointers:

1. If you aren't sure that it's forever, you aren't ready to get married.
2. Marry your best friend. Your friendship will be there during the times that the romance is not.
3. Schedule and budget for a date night every week once you are married. It's important.
4. Dress cute for your spouse. It's hard to see a person as sexy when they wear their sweats all the time.
5. No opposite sex friends allowed! You may think this person is just a friend, but they will become a threat to your relationship when times are tough. Your spouse should be the only one you are confiding those feelings to.

In a perfect world, no marriage would fail. Everyone would go into it with the right ideas and work through everything that came along. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. I really do believe that if both parties work at it from day one, the problems will never be too big to overcome. But sometimes one partner gives up and it takes two to make it work. Sometimes a person can be fooled from the beginning. Everyone makes mistakes. Each situation is unique, and I am not condemning anyone who is in or has been in a failed marriage. My heart goes out to you. I'll never understand, but the hurt must be terrible.

I would like to make an anniversary request. Hug and kiss your spouse. Tell him/her that you love them. Remember what made you fall in love in the first place. If you have stories, share them with me. Here, I will go first.

Michael and I met in 1998 in the music building at the university we were attending. He had a pseudo-girlfriend, but I didn't really care. They were on what she called a "trial break." I still think that was stupid and still think that meant he was fair game. Besides, I didn't even know about her in the first place. He was standing in the hall talking to a mutual friend. I approached and announced that he looked like he needed a hug and proceeded to hug him. We didn't even know each other's names at the time. He asked the friend if he really looked that pathetic. She told him that no, I just thought he was hot. She was right. I obviously got his attention. It's been nearly 10 years since that event, and I still think he's hot. And I apparently still have his attention.


Anonymous said...

Well I saw your request for love stories on TDK chat..This is not mine, but my parents. Back in 1948 my Mom turned 18, the day she had waited for..she was finally able to cut her hair(something Grandma didn't allow). So for her Birthday she hitchhiked into town and got about 17 yrs. worth cutoff..she said it was a true boy cut...Well hitchhiking back home, it was my father who gave her a ride..Married in 1949, had 4 children, 2 boys..2 girls..they had 49 years of a solid beautiful marriage. My mother passed in 97. Till this day, even remarried, my father makes sure mom has her favorite yellow roses to look at, silk in the winter, and fresh in the summer..they inspired all 4 of us children to long happy marriages of our own...Congrats on your 9 years...Keep that same attitude...You sound like a wonderfully happy couple...

Kirsten said...

9 years already! I knew it was coming up. Congratulations. :) Please tell me it gets easier after 5...and mean it. I'm pulling my hair out...and I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that we're both stubborn control-freaks! is our story. We met online. Yes, online, on Yahoo! personals. Neither one of us was looking for someone, but he found me while my parents were praying for my current relationship to end and for God to send the right one soon. Cool, huh? I hope that our life together will be more about growing closer than just trying not to kill each other. ;) Just kidding...sort of.

Michael said...

It's been a nice nine years so far. We have had our ups and downs, but overall, the complaints are weak and pale compared to the good times we have together.

Kirsten, it does get easier. You both have to work at it, but if you do, you will get closer, and it will get easier. This last year has been the easiest year of our marriage so far. And, that is by a long-shot, not just by a little bit. The first year was the most trying, and it has gotten progressively easier since then.

As for the story of how we got together:
There I was, in the music building at UCO, just minding my own business. All of a sudden, that crazy girl with the nice butt announced that she was going to hug me! Since then, I couldn't lose her. I tried to tell her that I had a girlfriend, but that didn't deter her efforts much. Finally, I realized that I was going to have to marry her or get a restraining order. That pretty much brings us up to speed. ;-P

Jennifer said...

Awe thanks guys!

Don't worry kirsten, it really does get easier.

And yes dear, if you ever leave you will need that restraining order.

instinct said...

Congrats on making it this far.

Michael, the restraining order won't help until after they find your body, then it will just add some extra time to her jail sentence