Random Musings

It's been a while since I've just gone way off the deep end and shared a random synapse fire with you. So I figure that it is high time. Hmm, 'high time,' what does that mean anyway? Does that mean that this exact moment is currently toking on some sort of doobie? Well considering today's random thought, that is entirely possible. For the moment to be toking, not me. I don't do that sort of thing.

And now, without further adieu, today's completely random question:

If my bologna was Catholic, how many names would it have?

Would people wish to be a related wiener?

Would that change the design of the Pope-mobile?

All things to ponder over various completely non-Kosher meals.

Signs of Spring

Even though an entire hour was recently hijacked out of my life while I slept, I am enjoying the signs of the pending spring.

Here are the daffodils blooming in my backyard. I really like to cut a few and put them in a cobalt blue vase. Maybe I'll take some to work this week.


This is the Bradford Pear blooming in the front yard. They are lovely to look at. If you aren't familiar, never never never inhale while standing under a Bradford Pear in bloom. They are quite pungent and not in a pleasant sort of way. But it still makes for a nice picture.

And this is my very favorite part of the improving weather. Open toed shoes. I really need to redo my pedicure. Hooray for springtime! I'm so ready to say good-bye to winter.

10 Years Today

I can hardly believe it. My husband/boyfriend/best-friend-with-benefits and I have been together for ten whole years now! (Our 10 year wedding anniversary is in December)

Committing to spending my life with my very best friend has been the best thing ever. I highly recommend it. Although, this person will have to be your special friend, mine is taken. Michael is wonderful, witty, and passionate. I'm a very lucky girl. We've been through a lot together, and it has only brought us closer.

So I'm feeling pretty good today, and I browsed on over to one of my favorite bloggers only to find that she was linking me. Thank you Rachel Lucas. I'm feeling remarkably cool and like maybe I should clean up the place since your readers will probably be visiting. If you came from there, welcome. Please make yourself comfortable.

Incredibly Girlie Squeeeeeel Moment!

I got to do something every girl would love to do today. You know what it is? Well I did get kissed by a stud with good breeding, but that's not what I am referring to. I got to play with a newborn premature filly today. She was only 28 hours old and born 34 days early.

Every girl love horses, and the babies are so deliciously adorable. I just want to hug them all. I'm really lucky. One of my good friends and co-workers is Julie Allard of Allard's Horse Haven so when each year's foal crop is born I get to go and see them. (If you go and buy a horse from her, tell her that I sent you.) They are so insanely cute. If I could take them home and snuggle them in my tiny living room, I totally would. Unfortunately my postage stamp sized back yard isn't really big enough to take one of these precious babies home with me. But I won't live here forever.

I know you are just dying to see the new baby, so here she is!



Click on the picture for a bigger image.

The previously mentioned stud was horse. Beautiful buckskin named Two Joe. I don't have his picture, but will try and get it from Julie.

Sometimes, You find your own fun

At the risk of becoming "that girl with the bathroom photos," I bring you this treasure.
This particular scene happened in my office on Monday. This is the one and only ladies room in the office. As I am sure you can plainly see, it was out of order due to maintenance. But just in case one of the ladies didn't realize that one should not use the toilet when it is not attached to the floor, someone added this helpful sign.
Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. The ensuing laughter at the sight of sign made me nearly wet myself. The heart is my favorite part. I have to tell you, it's very difficult to take a focused picture while snickering and doing the pee-pee dance. (Did I really just say 'pee-pee dance?')
As a matter of fact, while being privately cracked up about the scene, I got busted by the note leaver. I explained that I could not resist the picture. Being an awesome girl with a fantastic sense of humor herself, she actually offered to pose in the picture. That proved rather dangerous since unmounted toilets are a long way from stable. In her defense, she posted the very helpful note before the toilet was removed from the floor. At that time, it really did look like a perfectly usable facility.
Here's my positive message for today: Find humor in mundane places. Laugh at the ludicrous. Share a strange talent. Like writing Haikus about the restroom.

End of the paper
Oh the horrors all alone
The shelf out of reach

Dripping, worrying
Linoleum barrier
Stretch without slipping

All the ladies know
They have been there once or twice
Elegance falters

Domestic Distress Call

Help! I've lost a graphic novel! Actually 2 of them, but it's 2 copies of the same thing. One is actually intended as a gift. Shh-don't tell my brother-in-law. I put them in the home office, and I have absolutely no idea how I could ever lose something in a room that looks like this:

I would swear that I put them on top of my comic book boxes. There on the left side of the picture, under our range bag (the blue back pack crammed between the boxes). Or maybe they are there between my computer towers under my desk. The one in the foreground of the picture is a Windows XP/Debian Linux dual boot HP. The one in the background is my Mac G4. (Yes, Instinct-a Mac. And I'm writing this entry on my Mac iBook in the living room) I'm a nerd, and a disorganized nerd at that. Guess I didn't really need to point that out since I already made reference to my comic book boxes. Oops, went off on a tangent there.

This room is a perfect example of what happens when domestically-challenged random creatives get married. I would love to claim that this is the exception, but I would be lying to you. There is a hair dryer, a dremel-style tool, and a four drawer file cabinet in the kitchen. I don't know why anything ever gets lost here.

My mother-in-law will be mortified, and since I just found out today that she is reading my blog, I should probably clean up the place. I'll hide the laundry and get the toilet paper out of the living room before she shows up. Maybe the shirt she gave me today should be hanging in my closet rather than from the leg of the coffee table standing in the dining room. But there is still hope! In order to work a day off of his 3 week grounding, my son cleaned the bathroom. He even cleaned the mirror. Check out his work.

I think he earned the shortened sentence. There's hope for us yet!

My husband, after asking if I was also planning to share pictures of our dirty underwear, suggested that I should make a game out of these pictures. So, here is a list of some unusual things found in these 2 pictures. The first person that can locate them all will get kudos from me, and I will tell everyone else that reads this blog how incredibly cool you are. Maybe, just maybe, if I can find something interesting to send, I will send you something random from one of these two rooms. Don't hold your breath on receiving it though. As I've pointed out before, I am the queen of procrastination and I'd hate for you to be asphyxiated. See, I really do value my readers.
1. Cat butt (extra points if you know the cat's name)
2. Bi-Plane kite
3. Leather tools
4. Saxophone playing blue M&M
5. Peace Lily
6. Wine Corks
7. Pinkish-orangish candle
8. Something made with cucumber
9. Dandruff shampoo
10. Outdated digital camera
And the bonus: Uninstalled Mac processor (no, you won't get this as a prize. You can't have the cat butt either)

Jennifer's Head Can Occasionally Swell

That's me. Fairly typical look too. I blow dried the hair creating my unruly but still fun mop, and no make-up. This would be the standard weekend look. It does still include fabulous shoes, but my bathroom mirror is not full length. Yes, my bathroom mirror is in desperate need of a good cleaning. I have never claimed to be domestic. Change out the jeans for some slacks or a skirt and you've got my usual work look. Since you had only seen me in my profile picture, I thought you should see what I look like on a normal day. The profile picture was taken almost two years ago at my best friend's wedding. As her maid of honor, I had to actually do my hair and make-up for the big event. Well actually, another friend did my hair. It has never looked like that again.
So now you are thinking, "Um, Jennifer? Are you ever going to get to the point? Do you even have a point?"
Yes actually, I'm glad you asked.
One of the guys that works at the local gun range worked with Michael several years ago. This was a couple of jobs before Michael met me. Upon reuniting, the conversation was the standard.
Old Friend: Hey Mike. Good to see you. How have you been? You've lost hair since I saw you last.
Michael: I've been good. Yeah, that figures since the last time you saw me I was about 17. I'd like you to meet my wife Jenni.
Old Friend: (shakes hand) It's nice to meet you. (turns to Michael) You've done well.

Every woman knows that "You've done well" in that situation is really man code for, "You're wife is cute (or hot or pretty--something complimentary)." We accept the polite compliment and don't think anything else about it. The part that makes it funny is what happened on a later visit. At this visit, the old friend makes it a point to pull my husband aside, and in a stage whisper to make any four year old proud says, "I think your wife is hot!" LOL! I love it.

Well not 2 weeks later, I take my department out for our monthly departmental lunch. The conversation turns to the upcoming audition coming through Oklahoma for America's Next Top Model. One of the girls says, "I think Jennifer should try out for that." No, I am not in her chain of command. She goes on to tell me that she thinks I'm so pretty and that she thinks that I could just wear anything. She proceeds to tell me that she has always said that. All the while I am trying to come with a polite response that doesn't sound like I'm full of myself or self deprecating. I went with the honest response, I actually tried the modeling thing and it just wasn't for me. I stifled the voice in my head that was laughing and screaming, "You couldn't do that! You're 5'4", almost 30, and you've got cellulite and stretch marks! I don't think that's what Prada is really looking for this season." But you know, when they finally decide that the heroin waif is not so pretty, then they can give me a call.

I'm enjoying the compliments lately. I'm sure my head will swell enough to throw me off balance at which point I will topple over into something embarrassing like kitty yak which will bond to my hair and thus negate any inflated image built.

On a side note, I did jog around the block today. I'm still short and almost 30, but the cellulite will not win! And no, I still did not clean the mirror.

Queen of Procrastination

Yes, that title is all mine. I have earned it fair and square. I'm off work today, Monday, February 25th. No special reason, just burning my last vacation day before it expires on my anniversary next month. Would you like to know what I am doing?
What worthwhile thing that has been sitting in the corner of my living room taunting me?
I'm signing and sending out my Christmas cards. No, not early. I purchased stamps for them back in December. I even printed all my address labels. They must go out now before the price of stamps increases again. Besides, I'm tired of Santa staring out at from below shiny clear plastic.
Maybe if I get them sent, I can finally say good bye to winter! That's probably been the problem all along. By keeping me shivering, maybe I would be reminded of Christmas and send the jolly elf on his way. Hand cramps be damned! I'm shipping these out today!

Here comes the Jackpot Question in Advance - What are you doing New Year's...New Year's Eve?

Who Me? I will have a tiny house full of too many people drinking way too much and having a great time. My house. With probably still a fallen tree out front because we haven't had time to do anything about it.

After much drinking and laughter, we will toast in the new year and possibly sing terribly off key and laugh again. Generally, it's something like:

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear
For Auuuld Laaaang Syyyyyne
For all the words have been forgot
And never brought to mind

So I thought, maybe I should find out the words. The internet is a wonderful thing. I found them here. And reprinted for your convenience. I can't very well ask you to put in so much work as to follow the link while thinking about champagne now can I?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes
And pou'd the gowans fine.
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang syne.

We twa hae sported i' the burn,
From morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.

And ther's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a right good willie-waught,,
For auld lang syne.

Apparently, 'auld lang syne' means 'times gone by.' Pretty sure they mean alchie-holic beverage by 'cup of kindness,' the song is Scottish after all. Aye. And in case you was a wonderin' - here's the original that Burns based his ditty upon.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Tho they return with scars?
These are a noble hero's lot,
Obtain'd in glorious wars;
Welcome, my Varo, to my breast,
Thy arms about me twine,
And make me once again as blest,
As I was auld lang syne.

O'er moor and dale with your gay friend
You may pursue the chase,
And after a blythe bottle end
All cares in my embrace.
And in a vacant rainy day
You shall be wholly mine:
We'll make the hours run smooth away
And laugh at auld lang syne.
Shall Monarchy be quite forgot,
And of it no more heard?
Antiquity be razed about
And slav'ry put in stead?
Is Scotsman's blood now grown so cold,
The valor of their mind,
That they can never once reflect
On old lang syne?

Quite an informative link it was. And for those thirsting for even more, here's some sheet music.

Now you are fully informed thanks to the randomness in my head. No more excuses for the drunken butchering of a classic Scottish drinking song!

So tell me, really, what are you doing New Year's Eve?

Give it a thought

As we wind down from our season of giving, I hope that you will all continue to remember those who may not have been blessed as you have been. As you put away your presents and decide what will be returned, remember that some people don't have the luxury of a home to put their things.

Once such neglected group has recently been on my heart. This season, there have been no soup kitchens, no toy drives, and no blankets made for these forgotten souls. Homes have been built, only to be discarded and demolished. This group has been thoughtlessly swallowed up this Christmas season. Families are broken apart each year and then forgotten as the tinsel comes down.

I am speaking, of course, of the plight of the gingerbread men and women all over the world. (Had you going there for a minute didn't I?) Lavish homes are erected every year and adorned with gum drops. Their walkways are lined with sugary icing. These newly born men and women can't help feel hopeful for the life to come. But it is just a Christmas illusion. Every year, thousands of gingerbread men, and even a few gingerbread women and children, are eaten in Christmas celebration. Even their newly built homes are often devoured, or worse, just discarded like so much shiny paper.

I know, they aren't citizens of our great country. I know, everything they've ever had has just been given to them by the hard working Capitalists. Surely we could spare just a few of our hard earned dollars for these undeserving souls. They've not earned it, but they certainly feel entitled. And isn't that enough?

Nifty!

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

Thanks Instinct! That's really cool.

Sincerest Apologies With Update

*Put on your waders regular readers, the sarcasm is dripping today.

I discovered recently that I am disappointing a percentage of potential readers. Imagine my embarrassment when I perused my analytics account! 5.15% of my traffic as of yesterday comes via the almighty search engines. Of those, 10% were searching for "jennifer's panties." Another 10% were searching for "little girl's panties." In fact, right now if you were to do a Google search on "in jennifer's panties," this blog entry is the 5th item in the list. (Today's entry will probably change that.)

I am so very sorry to all of you potential readers out there. I really hate to disappoint you like that. Imagine if I increased my readership by that 10% of the 5% finding me via search engines. I think that translates into one tenth of a reader! Just think for a minute what that could do for ad revenue. The potential is staggering.

*you can take your waders off now.

Well, I don't have a picture of jennifer in panties to share with you. So how about jennifer in a bikini?


Oh no, that's not my ass. That ass is a size 2. Mine is larger. That ass belongs to Jennifer Love Hewitt. A picture from this particular angle would be far less flattering on me, and I am by no means a big girl. Normally I would revel in the opportunity to make fun of a celebrity, but this time I agree with Miss Hewitt's comment.

"A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful. … To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong."

Amen girl! You rock that junk in your little trunk.

UPDATE: I was right, now I'm the first hit on the previously mentioned search. And thanks babe. I'm glad you like the view

What A Surprise!

I really do try to refrain from making fun of Steven Weber too much. Really, I shouldn't go read what he writes because far too often the temptation to ridicule is just too much. But how could I possibly resist this list? The number one thing this pompous, liberal blogger is thankful for is his thesaurus! I'm not making this up. And this one too:

My ability to become sexually aroused at even the most horrific or banal moments.

Correct me if I am wrong, but did anyone really want to know? Maybe this explains why he writes his column. He's just creating his own horrific moment to share with the world. It's like literary masturbation. (Hmm, first time I've used that word in my blog. Should get some interesting search engine referrals.)

Sorry I've been absent for a couple of days. Been very busy.

UPDATE: Thank you Rachel Lucas for saying it even better

End of the Long Weekend

I took Friday off work and thankfully do not work in a place that is open on Thanksgiving, so I got a four day weekend. Of course, when I am away from the office, stuff breaks. Got my first phone call at 7:30 AM on Friday. Thankfully, that was an easy one. Got the next one at 9:30 AM. One of the 2 ladies had a family emergency and needed to leave. The other was already scheduled to leave at noon. That was also my last call of the day, so I figured whatever happened could be handled after the weekend. It can be. I'm busy but not any more than can be handled.

The weekend was good overall. Thanksgiving with my family was lovely. We gorged on lunch at about 11:30 then grazed all through the afternoon while playing games and laughing. I'm thankful for my family and that we aren't such gluttons the rest of the year. I kept glancing over to where Granddad always sat. It looked empty even when someone else was there, but that was alright in a way. It won't ever feel that his place is filled, but it being empty isn't really a bad thing. Of course I miss him, but I will see him again.

Thursday night, we hosted friends at our house. No one ate since we had all stuffed ourselves at lunch. We just spent time together. My friends are family too. One couple was in from out of town and brought Christmas presents since they won't be back at that time. We shared pictures and caught up on goings on from being apart. They must be pretty special since I actually scrubbed the bathroom in preparation for their arrival.

We did not get up before the crack of dawn on Friday to shop. That would drive me to homicide. My 7:30 call actually woke me up. I didn't get out of bed even then. We did shop a little in the afternoon, and surprisingly, the mall did not make me wish I was carrying my pocket flask. We were supposed to go camping Friday night, but our camping friends chickened out on us due to the cold. Guess we will have to wait to use the new tent. Instead, we had them over to our house. This time I mopped the kitchen floor. (I think I'm going to plan more get-togethers, it's doing wonders for my house.) We grilled shrimp and salmon. My brother-in-law and his wife made guacamole, and the other couple brought spinach and artichoke dip. We laughed and drank and watched Spinal Tap.

Saturday, we got to do one of those things that only homeowners get to do. We repaired our fourth slab leak. While watching the movie the previous night, it began to sprinkle on one guest's head. One of the hot water lines was leaking into the floor vents. Since there was very hot water there, it made our house warm and nicely humid. Unfortunately, since it was so cold outside, it caused condensation on the ceiling around the return vents. And so after we showered in the morning, we cut off the hot water supply and I began to clean up the mess. You gain some unusual talents as a home owner. My newest one is the proper way to mop a popcorn ceiling. It must be done in a blotting motion so as not to strip the popcorn and 30 year old paint. In case you ever need to do it. I also got to employ another strangely useful talent gained during a previous slab leak. I can stick my hand through the vent in the bottom of the kitchen cabinets and cut off a pipe very near the ground. It's rather painful, but it can be done. I did it before when the leak was from the utility closet to the kitchen sink in the cold water line. Same process for the hot. In case you ever need to know, it is possible to shove half inch pex through the original three-quarter inch copper lines. It's difficult and causes the husband to blurt expletives, but it will work and is much cheaper than having a plumber take a jack hammer to your foundation. thankfully, the kitchen and utility closet share a wall, so we ran this line above ground. Still generates some expletives but not as many. Now we have hot water again and dry vents.

Sunday, we decided to go to an earlier service so that we could have lunch with our Sunday school class. They are always a fun group. When we got home from lunch, we decided that we had such great momentum going on the house that we would just keep going. So I scrubbed the shower, bathtub, and the cook top in the kitchen. Trust me, all of these were major jobs. We are not exactly great housekeepers. Hubby sorted through the living room. This was also a major job. He got the living room clean enough to put up the Christmas tree.

It's Monday and back to our regularly scheduled program. It's good to be back, but I sure could've used more weekend.

Breaking news

Alright, it's just more celebrity gossip that struck me as funny. Ah the NSync closet! Not that I really want to know what secrets lie in its frilly depths, but this just made me giggle and snort.

Ack Zombies!

Mindless drones wandering the city in search of brains! Hub has a fantastic article about how to be prepared for the eventuality of a zombie invasion. You can never be too careful.

Unfortunately, I find the article a little lacking. I mean, what if the zombie is in the form of an over-bleached, over-tanned trophy wife? It could happen. Just look here. That must be the explanation. She's a zombie. She keeps buying clothes and Starbucks, but what she really needs are brains. Delicious brains.

So the question here is what to do about this particular kind of zombie. Sturdy scissors are the solution. When she comes at you with her credit cards, simply slice up the worthless plastic. She'll be reduced to a shrieking pile of make-up and silicone, and you can walk away unscathed.

Don't worry about her six kids, the marker-wielding liberals will take care of them. It's all about the chiiiiillldren! Or so they say. Really they are just churning out entitlement hungry zombies. (See, I got back to the zombie point)

These are easy to conquer. Take their food stamps and give them lawn mowers or dust mops. This eliminates both the welfare zombies and the illegal-immigrant zombies in one swoop.

October 23, 1978

Yep, it's my birthday. That's the actual date of my emergence from my mother. Do the math, I'll wait.
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Are you finished? Or has the school system failed. Here's another minute.
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Don't you hate it when people add superfluous spaces? And make you do math while reading a blog? That's just wrong. I'll stop. I'm 29 today. Yep, the first time too. I'm told it will be the first of many times that I turn 29. That is, once I convince them that I'm not kidding. As of today, I'm not afraid of turning 30 or 40 or anything else. That may change in the next 364 days, or 10 years and 364 days, I just don't know. What annoys me is that everyone laughs when I tell them that I am 29 today. Seriously people. Do I look enough older than 29 that I should have any business lying about my age? The profile pic was taken last year; I don't think I look that much different but I will try and get a more recent one for your enjoyment.

So Happy Birthday to me! Yada. Yada. Yada. Didn't get me a gift? That's okay. I accept random donations. It's not tax deductible.

They stole it from us. The precious

Nope, not about Lord of the Rings in any way shape or form. Just me griping about unnatural time.

In March of this year, an hour was hijacked. That's right. Stolen while we slept. No one even left a note. I would have paid the ransom. But no. They stole it from us with promises that it would be returned in November. They make it sound like my precious hour is going on an extended vacation. I'm sure in reality they are keeping it a little room with no sunlight and only bread and water for sustenance. Right now, it's probably being subjected to daily water torture. Just wait until the pictures come out.

It's a conspiracy I tell you! They are trying to control us. It's much harder to think clearly when haven't had enough sleep. And the extra snoozing just eats up the time when hubby could make espresso. Instead, I have to drink the G.A.A.C. (Generally Accepted As Coffee) at the office. This is why people bring guns to work! I know it's true, here's the biblical reference:

If you shout a pleasant greeting to your neighbor too early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse! Proverbs 27:14

Words to live by, don't you think?

Funniest line I've read in the news

I read a lot of internet news. Many stories come via The Daily Kitten---thank you Dee. I found this one all on my own though. One line made me seriously laugh out loud. Seriously, read this and tell me all about your mental picture.

About 150 police in riot gear went into the compound to find the ex-nuns defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments, Puzewicz said.

Good thing the 150 police wore their riot gear! Can you imagine the possible consequences. Being smacked with a tambourine is sure to sting. Kum-by-WHAM my Lord, Kum-by-SMACK......We all know the havoc that would create in the little Polish town.

This line makes me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself. As if the riot gear part wasn't enough, he says they were "defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments" Oh man, that's rebellious. That may have corrupted to locals that were sneaking them food. Shield your children!

And the scene ended this way.

Hours later, after mild resistance and insults from the ex-nuns and the intervention of psychologists, about 65 defeated ex-nuns, escorted by policewomen, walked out calmly in their black habits — some carrying guitars, others tambourines or small drums — and boarded buses.

I'm so glad this public threat was removed. They had guitars people! Don't you understand the imminent danger? Better send in 2 riot geared cops for each nun and a few extra just to be safe.

Whew, I'm so glad my tax dollars go to pay for public health care for kids that are too good for public schools instead. (Thank you Michelle Malkin) Oops! I slipped something political in there. Just when you thought it was safe. Hey everyone! Chain smoke: it's for the children!

Gift or Gremlin?

I got a surprise package in the mail on Saturday. It was a tube containing 4 posters. 2 copies of this one,

and 2 copies of a President Bush one. You can order them here. The surprise is that I didn't order them. I thought about it, but didn't. But they came anyway. $4.60 charged to someone else. I figure it has to be one of four scenarios.

1. I have a secret admirer. If so, I assume that you are reading this. I know your name because it showed on the invoice, but I'm not going to reveal it. Thank you for the posters, I'm really flattered. I'm very much not available though. It was very thoughtful of you to send 2 copies because my best friend/husband enjoys them as well.
   
2. I have a fan that sends gifts. Awesome! Really freaking awesome. Thank you, and you rock! I've never had a fan before and unless it is proven otherwise, this is the scenario I'm going to choose to believe and revel in the head swelling. I know your name, so no one else can take credit and therefore possession of the well deserved cool points you have earned.
   
3. It's a gag gift. If so, you think I'm a liberal and the joke's on you. I don't really think that is the case though
4. There is a gremlin lurking in the servers at yaf.org. It is possible that Mr. Cool really just ordered them for himself and the ghost in the machine sent them to me instead. If so, and you just happen across my blog, I still think you are cool and would be happy to order these posters for you on my own bill so that you don't miss out on the conservative goodness. That would still be acceptable, but I would rather believe that I have a fan.
   

So, anyone care to guess what the scoop is here? Are you the giver and want to come forward to receive your cool points? You can remain anonymously cool if you would like. I know your name, but the other people who read this won't find out unless you come forward.

And yes, everyone who takes the time to read my blog is automatically considered cool. But there is a hierarchy. Readers are cool, those that comment are cooler, fellow bloggers that link back are awesome, and anyone that sends gifts is seriously amazing. Especially since any gift received is completely unsolicited. Welcome, but not solicited.

UPDATE: Well the people at YAF got back with me. Apparently their site got hacked. It was a gremlin. And I was really hoping for a fan.